Who's Paying!
What is supposed to be the happiest day of your life can also turn out to be the most expensive. The question of cash can sometimes put a strain not only on your wallet, but also on family relations.
Obviously, the subject of cost depends entirely on what kind of wedding you are planning.
If your wedding is exchanging nose-rings in a Buddhist Ceremony on the summit of the Himalayas where your only guests are the local monks and their herd of yak, then airfares and sherpa are your only expenses.
Or if a sit down, three course meal for 250 people and Kylie as your wedding entertainment is more appealing, then you will need to consider how deep your or your parents' wallets are.
Either way, regardless of what wedding you choose to have, this will most likely be the most you will ever spend on any celebration and how it will be funded must be considered from the start.
Not forgetting the issue of Other People's Money besides your own to keep in mind, that is, the costs your bridesmaids and groomsmen will incur along the way. Don't plunge your bridesmaids or groomsmen into debt, we suggest you read more about this in Bridesmaids Covering Costs.
Who pays for what it is entirely up to you, your budgets and your families and this upfront discussion must be addressed firstly between you and your fiance and then with your families.
To get the discussions started here are some ideas and guidelines to both the modern way, followed by a more traditional approach of paying for your big day.
Modern Approach
As the average age of first weddings hits the 30 years mark, many of us will already be living with our future husband or wife and paying our own way in life. Our parents on the other hand will be considering retirement.
The tradition of the brides parents pay for most of the wedding is less common these days.
A different approach to paying for the wedding and just as acceptable is the sharing of costs between both sides or all sides. Here are some ideas as suggested by i-do members:
- Sharing costs can be done by working out a per head cost for the entire wedding or just the wedding reception and asking that each side pay for the guests they choose to invite. This way no one side will feel as if they have overcontributed.
- If the bride and groom pay for their own wedding, a wedding gift idea from the parents is to to pay for a part of the wedding, such as the wedding dress for their daughter or the honeymoon or photographer for their son and new daughter-in-law.
- Parents share the cost of the wedding reception and the bride and groom pay for everything else.
- The parents of the bride and groom share the cost of the wedding reception and wedding ceremony. The brides parents pay for brides attire including the wedding dress, wedding accessories, personal wedding flowers, hair and makeup and the grooms parents pay for the grooms attire including the suits and the wedding cars. The bride and groom pay for their wedding rings, wedding photographer and videographer, the bridal party pay for their outfits.
Editors Tip:
Don't let your wedding be the cause of a family fall out or huge financial debt. You know as bride and groom what is affordable to you, your bridal party members and your families.
Don't let your wedding become a financial burden for anyone, if you can't afford it don't have it or find something less expensive.
Traditional
The Bride & Her Family
The engagement party (if hosting)
The groom's wedding band
Any wedding announcements
Costs of the reception venue, catering, alcohol, decorations, wedding entertainment etc
Wedding photographer and wedding album
Wedding videographer and wedding dvd
Wedding cake
Any wedding coordinating services
Wedding stationery including invitations, mail out and thank you notes
The bridal gown and all accessories
Hair and makeup artists (bridesmaids somethimes pay for own)
Mother-of-the-bride's outfit and accessories
The groom's wedding gift
All bomboniere and bridesmaids gifts
Accommodation for bridesmaids and guests of the bride's family if they have travelled to the wedding
The Groom & His Family
The engagement party (if hosting)
The bride's engagement and wedding ring
The wedding ceremony or church fees
The wedding flowers including the brides and bridesmaids bouquets
The wedding cars
The groom's suit and accessories
The marriage license
Wedding gift for the bride
Gifts for the groomsmen and ushers
Wedding night accommodation
The honeymoon
The Bridal Party
Bridal showers, or kitchen teas
Hens and Bucks night celebrations
Wedding gift for the Bride and Groom
Bridesmaid's dresses (or brides family pays)
Suit hire for the groomsmen (or grooms family pays)
Images Provided By: Fusion Photography
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